I was thinking on what to post on this week, and while I normally have a few ideas circling in my head, I felt called to talk about my personal call to Christ. I believe in God for one simple reason; what else is there? The longer I am on this earth, the more I wonder, “Why wouldn’t I believe in God?” Have I doubted, questioned my faith, contemplated my upbringing, sure I have. Yet somehow, I kept my faith.
I was born and raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school until I graduated high school, went to church on the weekends, received my sacraments, the whole 9 yards. I checked all the boxes in traditional terms and was released into the wild. I decided on my own to keep going to church, seeking God, and trying to be a good person. I felt short many times and still do daily. However, by God’s grace, I never have thrown up my arms and completely walked away. Several times in my life, I have faced life altering depression, questioning my existence, and yet I came out on the other side. I used to think this was my own doing, but in more recent years, have rediscovered that only God could have saved me from myself.
I have and continue to struggle with many temptations of the world. I won’t go into detail because the personal recount isn’t necessary but the fact is I have idols, I have things I put my trust in and I have sought after things to take the place in my heart that only God can. Despite me rejecting God repeatedly, He still seeks me. He still calls my name and wants me to come home. He has that unconditional…there is no word. It is beyond love. It is beyond any concept I can come up with. That is God. Now why would I believe in anything else when that is an option?
Don’t we all want that? Something so profound and personal that we can’t describe it but we know the experience? It isn’t a feeling, it’s a state of mind body and spirit that are connected in such a way that nothing can disrupt it. “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Ephesians 3:19) Paul puts it simply. We believe, although we don’t understand, so we can be complete. Jesus is the only way. I can’t explain it, it’s just what I have come to know in my heart. My hope is I can continue this journey with more faith.
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