We all experience stress. Simply, stress is irritability in a circumstance, experienced as a negative feeling. We can feel pressured or rushed, which stresses our timeline. We can feel angst and fear of world events, giving us anxiety and worry. Or relationships can give us this negative sensation when we try to find the balance of give and take. Personally, I have found my stress increases when I don’t get my way. It’s like an internal temper tantrum, although maybe not that dramatic. It’s a slow build of harmful emotions, usually from disappointment, anger and frustration, or a lack of control. We have probably all heard this caveat on stress and anxiety; not all of it is bad. While that is true, I think it’s less about the idea of stress and more about the level of stress that is the problem.
I have high expectations, for myself and others. I want the world, specifically my world, to be a certain way. So naturally, my actions help shape that world. I believe I can control my world if I do the proper actions to make my ideals a reality. If only it were that simple! What I apparently haven’t learned yet, despite being alive for almost 4 decades, is that things beyond my control, circumstances, people, and events, make my ideals very difficult if not impossible to achieve. In a nutshell, I’m a control freak. I believe to some degree, we all are. Otherwise we wouldn’t be stressed. To highlight an earlier point, we are stressed when we don’t have control. So what’s to be done about that?
On our recent trip home, I found myself stressed about many things. The weather wasn’t ideal for driving an overloaded RV (rain, snow, sleet on winding roads for hundreds of miles), the trip was to involve stopping at various sites along the way (only one of those happened due to time/frustration), the bus, my car and my wife’s car had mechanical issues, and I had forgotten how expensive it was to travel with our converted school bus. In writing, I think about two Gospel passages. One is Jesus reminding Martha that she is stressed about many things, but only one thing is needed. (Lk 10:41-42) And from Matthew 6:27; who of you can add a single hour to your life by worrying? Yet here I am, still repeating the cycle of control, stress, worry, fearful, control, etc.
How do you let go? The solution seems pretty clear. If we are stressed by trying to control things that are out of our control, then we need to let go of those things. How? I’m afraid I don’t have that answer. Stress is a part of life so long as we strive for control. It seems acceptance is the key. Acceptance of circumstance, inadequacy, imperfection. Perhaps prayer is the answer. It certainly couldn’t hurt! Asking God for the humility and courage in faith to let go and accept. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil (4:6-7)
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