In further reflecting on Lent, I am asking God to change me more. I am asking for humility in accepting the plan laid out before me. It’s so difficult to accept that the ideas I have are inferior to God’s plan but what else could they be!? We always ask for God to intervene in difficulties and yet when it comes down to it, we complain about the way it’s done. We ask for help then reject it. It’s the pain of being inadequate. The truth of being subordinate. The blow to our ego that says “I can’t” instead of “I must”.
I have heard when you are irritable or frustrated with how things are going, it is because you are going against God’s will. We are often stressed, it’s one of our biggest flaws as humans. We let the world tell us how to live, think and be instead of God. We are constantly let down by false idols. Money, power, status; it’s all just lies. We become hyper-focused on the next achievement, the new fad, the latest and greatest when really we need to focus on God. It is exhausting. to be free is to let go; perhaps life’s greatest contradiction.
So I ask God to change my mind and heart. Free me from the bondage of life and give me the courage to say “yes” to God and no the the world. Keep my mind free from clutter and my eyes fixed on the one, the only thing I need. My ideas I have about success, goals, and the plan for my life are not wrong, just not what I need. I think I need them, but sometimes God has other things in mind. The acceptance of that fact is one of the most difficult things for me and I think for many of us.
I’d like to close with this Psalm “Lord, my allotted portion and my cup, you have made my destiny secure. Pleasant places were measured out for me, fair to me indeed is my inheritance. (Ps 16:5-6)
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