We’re continuing our Lenten series, focusing on changing ourselves for the better and opening our hearts and mind through prayer and sacrifice. My journey is coming along, still being challenged by the same devils but I am getting some more insight into ailments, deficits, trials, strengths and personality characteristics. I am finding more and more how frail I am. How much I can’t do things on my own anymore. How much my focus is distracted when it should be on God. So I guess this week is mostly a reflection. I check in for myself but also touching on themes I think apply to most people, regardless of where they are.
The talk this last Tuesday was on healing and division. There were some interesting points made about how we are a part of the Holy Trinity because we are a part of Christ. We therefore have a responsibility to restore the unity that was disrupted when we were banned from the Garden of Eden. So when we act against God, we are dividing instead of unifying. We act sinfully towards others, it is really against Jesus. There was the quote of the judgement from God, in Matthew “Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you?…whatever you did for the least of my brothers and sisters, you did for Me.” (25:37-40) This is regarding the corporal works of mercy but I feel it extends beyond that. Whatever we do when we shouldn’t or don’t when we should, that is when we are hurting God through division.
The talk also went on to describe the Sacraments as ways to bring about unity. Obviously, reconciliation was highlighted, as well as marriage and those who are called to a holy life. Overall, it was instructed that to unify, we must follow God’s plan. And that can be hard to do! What do we do when it doesn’t make sense? Or when it’s not what we had in mind? Do we challenge? Refuse? Question? Reject? I feel that in most opportunities in life, when I turn a blond eye to someone in need, citing my own agenda as the priority. Or judge another because their way is different, or in my mind, wrong. How I see myself as better, letting my ego block my path towards God. As I said, there are so many things I am becoming more acutely aware of, so many things to work on.
So at about the halfway point in my Lenten growing, I am still learning so much about myself, so many things I had ignored or become willfully blind to. As a paradox, it’s one thing that I find really hard; focusing on myself. I feel it’s selfish to think about me and focus on my problems. They say it’s easier to rule a city than to rule yourself. How true! I will continue to pray for grace for you and I. Lord knows we need it.
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