As in other times in my life, there is a lot going on. I have family coming into stay at the house for a short while, my wife and I are going on our honeymoon, I’m searching for work after we get back, and there’s a long, seemingly never ending to do list. We have been managing it fairly well, all things considered. However, the other day I was reaching my breaking point. As with other similar instances in my life, it was when when more thing was added onto the pile that pushed me over the edge.
Many would agree that I am a high strung individual. It comes with the territory of being driven and having high standards. Unfortunately, I have yet to actually regulate this well enough to manage the stress and also not let little things bother me. So in the midst of juggling several things, I fall for the trap of “handling it” instead of letting God do His thing. I have been told by my wife and heard it elsewhere “We make plans and God laughs.” It’s the arrogance I have talked about before; thinking we are in control. So we try our best and when we succeed, or seemingly so, we reinforce our ignorance in thinking we can handle things, and when we fail, we are forced into humility and asking for God’s help. I’m working on prioritizing the latter; asking for help before I fail.
So here we are, getting things setup for our trip. Long story short, we need to tow my car and when I thought I had all the pieces, turns out I was wrong. So I’m scrambling to find something because our timeline is very tight. The stress signal also raises in other areas, partially because they’re connected, but also because those have also been cruising at an altitude close to their breaking threshold. As I’m thinking out loud and explaining/complaining to my wife, It comes to me. This voice of God and, what is for me, a typical conversation with Him.
“Hey…I got this. What are you so worried about?” “But I have this trip and now I can’t find the mounting brackets and how am I going to tow the car and…” “Shhh. I got this. It’s okay.” What do you mean, ‘I got this’? What are you doing for me? Can you fill me in a least a little on your plan?” “Don’t worry. I got this. I don’t need to tell you what I’m doing. Just don’t worry.” It such a calm and sincere affirmation compared to my incessant worry, anxiety, and concern. In retrospect, this is the time to pray the simple words, “Lord I trust You.”
It can be so powerful. But it takes faith and courage. In the midst of the stress, worry, fear, anger, hurt, pain; Lord I trust You. This is how we can listen when God is speaking.
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